Divorce is a very hard procedure and nobody should get through it alone. Where do you get divorce guide? Whether you’re at the beginning of the divorce process or in the thick of it, I can’t stress enough how helpful it can be to share your experience with others who are in or have gone through a divorce. Connecting with someone who’s been in your shoes can help put things in perspective, or at least make you feel a little less alone. If you don’t already have a friend who has gone through divorce, you can seek out a community that suits you.
If you have debt in your name, like credit cards or student loans, you will want to pay those debts down as much as possible before a divorce. Most American families spend close to their entire income, if not more, and when one household becomes two, there is often not enough money to pay the both sets of expenses unless something changes. You may have to cut down disposable purchases, sell your car and get a less expensive model, or maybe sell the house. If your spouse does not voluntarily support you and the children, your remedy is to ask the Court to order support. You will not have a good prediction of any of this and you will not know the answers for sure until the agreement is signed or the judge makes a ruling. But, the point is to think about it and identify problems and possible solutions. Then take the actions that you can take and avoid missteps.
The best divorce advice I ever received was, “Don’t get even, get better!” Instead of directing negative energy toward your ex, generate that power toward bettering yourself. When my ex-husband and I separated and divorced, I returned to graduate school and finished my doctorate degree. I used all of my energy to empower myself toward complete self-reliance and independence. That is the very best place from which to enter your next relationship. If you are the one wanting the divorce, get all financial records copied before your mate is aware so there’s no vanishing money once you file the papers. And copy everything that could have an impact on the outcome — from checkbooks to bank statements to investment accounts. It’s much easier to avoid the “he said, she said” arguments with proof in your hands! And if at all possible, agree to use a mediator. You will save thousands of bucks but it will only work if you’re both game.
This is a very bad idea for two reasons. First, except in extremely egregious cases, most courts won’t punish your spouse financially for being a bad person. Second, hiring an attorney to punish your spouse will cost you because your attorney will need to increase the number of hours spent on your case. Increased attorney hours means higher divorce costs, and higher divorce costs means there will be fewer assets and cash left for you and your family. Try to take the emotion out of your divorce, and treat your case as a business arrangement. The best revenge is to live well after the divorce is over.
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